Determination?

I tried so hard

And went so far

Changed strategies

Sucked life out of the tears

Jumped over despair

And scraped through the darkness

And went so far…

But here I am, yet again

Back in the perpetual loop

Walking in circles

Still trying

Trying to break the trajectory…and fly off in a tangent.

Haiku Prompt: Think & Free

Haiku Prompt: Think & Free

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thinking that I’m free

let my soul fly unfettered

from thoughts chaining me

Thinking that I’m free let my soul fly unfettered.

Let my soul fly unfettered from thoughts chaining me.

https://ronovanwrites.wordpress.com/2015/07/20/ronovanwrites-weekly-haiku-poetry-prompt-challenge-54-free-think/

Perspective

Perspective

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I just finished reading ” Paper Towns’ by John Green and am feeling unexpectedly moved. There is this part where the hero (an eighteen year old) is pissed off with his friend for not responding in the manner expected. That is when the author highlights a mistakes probably all of us commit.

While we at all times expect to be accepted the way we are…not just ‘accepted’ actually…but also liked the way we are. We expect people to ‘not be themselves‘. We insist on repeatedly causing ourselves hurt over a patterned behavior of a loved one.

Like the author points out…why be upset over the late arrival of a friend who is known to always be late? Isn’t it enough that he eventually turns up always? It is a simple thought really. One that encourages to accept a few flaws in light of the greater connect. And one that lets us have friends without being constantly hurt.

Another thought the author explored was about wisely choosing metaphors defining our lives. While a low phase in life can be compared to having ‘broken strings’; it can also be viewed as just a low phase which with the help of friends can be over-ridden. It is in defining our lives that we can actually change it. In the end we lose only if we metaphorically speaking – refuse to see the light.

“…there are a thousand ways to look at it: maybe the strings break, or maybe our ships sink, or maybe we’re grass—our roots so interdependent that no one is dead as long as someone is alive. We don’t suffer from a shortage of metaphors, is what I mean. But you have to be careful which metaphor you choose, because it matters. If you choose the strings, then you’re imagining a world in which you can become irreparably broken. If you choose the grass, you’re saying that we are all infinitely interconnected, that we can use these root systems not only to understand one another but to become one another. The metaphors have implications.”

-Paper Towns

The book is full of such little shafts of light that may go a long way in dispelling the gloom that sometimes results from a disquiet mind.

Choices

Lately I have been wondering about the importance of choices in our lives. The power to choose what we eat, what we wear, where we go, and more importantly what we do to shape our destinies, is undoubtedly a gift…don’t you think?

It is the choices we make at different stages of our lives that determine what the rest of our lives would be like. We make a choice, which sets the wheels of fate in motion. Then, slowly, the consequences of the choice made unfold, revealing the colours of our days and nights to come. It is evident then, that our choices define our lives.

So what if we had made a different set of choices. Sometimes, when I am particularly dissatisfied with the familiar monotony of my life, I am tempted to toss the ‘what if’ question at the skies. Do you think that if we had chosen differently, at some point, over the years gone by, our presents would be considerably different? This question probably has more than one answers, arrived at by following different lines of thought.

One such thinking route made me reflect upon the lives of some of our beloved fairy tale characters. So, what if Jack had not chosen to climb the beanstalk? Then he would have saved himself the trauma of being attacked by a giant and would have been a pauper the rest of his life. Or would he? Think again. What is apparent about Jack’s personality from the tale is that Jack is a risk taker and an adventure seeker. He traded his cow for a bunch of beans. Would a guy who can defeat a giant fifty times his size, be dumb enough to do that? No. Jack traded for the bean seeds because they were ‘magical’. There was a promise of adventure hidden in the seeds and the excitement of the unknown hidden atop the beanstalk; and Jack being the enthusiastic soul that he was took the chance. Jack’s personality traits evident from his actions make me conclude that if he had not climbed that magical beanstalk, he would have done something equally unorthodox and adventurous; started off on a voyage into the unknown seas on a magical boat, perhaps, and would have ended up saving a princess and living with her happily ever after. Over exertion of imagination you say?

Let us divert our attentions to the pretty Snow White. What if Snow White had not chosen to take a bite of the poisonous apple offered by the evil witch disguised as a good woman? Would she not have lost all that time of her life sleeping in a coffin? Upon critically examining Snow White’s personality, it is evident that she is a simple, trusting soul who apparently hasn’t learnt exercising caution even by her life’s experiences. One would think that having been tricked out of her palace by an evil stepmother and almost killed by a hunter, she would think twice before trusting a woman who magically appeared in the midst of a forest with perfect looking apples! But people are what they are…aren’t they?  Snow White’s extreme goodness (bordering on stupidity, probably?), makes me think that had she chosen not to bite that apple, she would nevertheless have got caught in a situation that would cause her to suffer. She would have probably made some other equally disastrous choices as her core characteristic was not putting too much thought into her decisions.

Going over the lives of these imaginary characters, and also scrutinizing some from the real world, I am moved to think that while our choices do define our lives, it is we who define our choices. So if I had not made a particular choice at a particular time in my life, I would have probably made a choice not too out of character with the one I actually made. Sure, that other choice would have given a different shade to my present, but that shade would still belong to the same colour palate. For example, sometimes, when I see people pursuing fun unconventional careers, the ‘what if’ question comes up and rests on my tongue. But then I realize that being the conventional, non-risk taker, approval seeking person that I am, had I not chosen to pursue engineering, I would have chosen a path equally standard and carrying my parent’s stamp of consent.

So I conclude that if we effectively want to change something in our lives, it is not just our choices that need to be altered, but ourselves as well. Our way of thinking, our way of perceiving other’s actions and our general perspectives, all form the core of our personalities. Choosing differently while not thinking differently would be the same as painting over walls to give it a new façade. The paint would peel off sooner than later, and then, the scars of discontentment would show up again.

You may agree only partly with my hypotheses. But then, there are no paradigms that provide ALL the answers, are there?